I am exhausted! I went to the flower show today with RS and his parents. I walked around for about an hour and a half and boy are my legs tired! I even took a nap when I got home and damn I’m still super tired. I feel bad for how messy it is In here but I’m going to have to be nice to myself and give myself a pass for today.

I am desperately trying to quit smoking but I keep ****ing buying cigarettes. I keep coming up with excuses. I’m going to try hard to make sure this is my last pack. My son figures it out right away. I am waiting for the day RS smells it on me. That’s going to start a fight. I don’t want to fight. We’ve never fought. I’m such a **** up. Seriously. I want to quit so badly.

Ugh. I wish I had willpower.