1. Marriage won't change his personality. Your fiance is different than you are. You can't change him.

2. You are either compatible or incompatible. After 2 1/2 years, you've established your patterns of communication styles with each other. If you don't like that pattern, you shouldn't be with him.

3. You can't change your fiance. If you can't accept his differences from yours, then you shouldn't marry him.

I get the sense that you want posters to tell you how to change your fiance, because you really don't like him -- that is, you don't feel emotionally connected to your fiance the way you envisioned you would, when you were single.

I really would advise you to cancel the engagement. If you can't accept your fiance for who he is, then you shouldn't be in a relationship with him.

I don't think any amount of premarital counseling is going to help you. You are stuck on the idea that your fiance is wrong for you because of the doubts you've expressed and you're looking for excuses how to get around marrying him and get your emotional needs met. Marriage doesn't work like that. Well, some people marry each other for money or other wrong reasons and it can work out or not.

I'm really sorry you're in this situation but you have the choice of backing out of it after only 2.5 years. My cousin married a woman he didn't really love, because he felt pressured to and because he was lonely. She nearly destroyed his life. He divorced her, lived with his parents, and had to start over from scratch and is now remarried with a child and very happy.

If you know deep down that your fiance doesn't meet your emotional needs, then you really should not marry him. He won't change and to expect him to, is both selfish and unrealistic. Sorry.