Yes... although to be fair, I had grief in 2017 and 2018 and just been really down with all that, so it's been harder. I am also avoidant and generally not social. I am pushing myself with small social things here and there but I don't think it will ever be enough.

I feel like I let T down too, he never really saw me be super social and probably thought I was a hopeless loser.

I really don't know what to tell you but depression sucks for sure. Just keep talking about it in therapy and trying to push yourself with small goals here and there.