I actually came across this by chance on Quora a few days ago. I went through all the responses and I'm noticing they tend to go from one extreme to the other. I don't agree with those who claimed your T didn't "abandon" you because you violated a boundary. In my opinion, she did abandon you by terminating treatment so abruptly. I can't remember if she referred you to someone else, but I seem to recall you not having more than one termination session? At the end of the day, "abandonment" in psychotherapy is just another technical term like transference and countertransference. I think that many of the people who replied took the word at its most literal meaning and didn't consider it from a therapeutic point of view.

I also think you received a lot of replies (especially the particularly harsh ones) from people who didn't seem as familiar with the therapeutic alliance. I recall someone saying that therapists are like dentists or doctors and I think that is very limiting as it doesn't take into account how intimate the relationship can get. Also, a lot of people who treat their therapists the same way as their other physicians probably don't have attachment issues, so it may be hard for them to understand the need to feel closer. I felt that the responses which acknowledged that were far more balanced (and kinder too).

I'd like to think that most competent therapists wouldn't label someone as "crazy" or "threatening" for doing what you did. I'd like to think that they would be more understanding of what drives a person to feel a need for connection. So yes, in essence, I think a good therapist would have more empathy for such a client even if they felt the need to refer them to someone else.

Try not to feel too bad about the responses. Some of them are harsh and unkind for sure, but they lack context. And sometimes people have to go through similar feelings of attachment in order to understand what it's like. I really don't think that the responses are a good indicator of how other therapists would feel in this situation.

And for the record, I have the urge to get closer to my T too. And although I haven't walked past his house, I certainly did a lot of "digging" which goes way beyond what's acceptable. And I feel a lot of shame about it too, but on days when I'm trying to be kinder, I remind myself that I'm not a bad person for needing/seeking connection. I am just trying to make up for what i lacked when I was growing up.