Dr. D.:
I feel like I was intrusive in asking you questions. I inadvertently put you in a no-win situation. I have nobody else to blame but myself. I couldn't have chosen a worse time to do that. I wasn't asking you so I can adopt all of your views/positions, I was curious, though, about your position on things. . i feel absolutely horrible, like a big nobody. I am SO devastated and angry at myself for being such a loser. I really feel so intensely humiliated. I don't blame you. and really, I don't blame myself. There's really not a handbook detailing how one goes about building a self. You tell me to do things I like, and some things I can do, like drive south, go to the beach. But when it comes to me volunteering or trying to do something that interests me, I have such odd likes and it's not like I can find anything.

Even here, safe at home, I feel like completely losing it, yet I have to keep the facade going. I am quite genuine at home and with you, at least genuine to whatever ego state I am experiencing. While I am completely overwhelmed, I will be okay.