Sometimes I think I'm all alone. Especially at night when nobody is posting n my husband is sleeping. I dont know - maybe I am physically alone at those times .. but I feel it at a huge emotional level too is what I mean. Even when my husband is sitting in the room with me - I feel alone. But at night, I feel isolated on an extreme level. I can't really explain it well. I want to sleep bc of it - yet I can't bc of insomnia. My insomnia upsets my husband. Pretty sure he's suspicious of why I'm staying up so late recently. I can't help it. I hate it. But.. maybe - just maybe - my time on earth will be done soon, and all of this will no longer matter.

I hate that I go in n out of depression so much too. Makes me feel (and look) like a liar. Whatever. I'm just done.