I was earlier than usual, since I'm staying at my parent's. He still only took a minute or so to get me.
We hadn't had a session last week due to Easter, he commented on that and asked how I'd been. Last week had been okay, but this week not so much.
He asked about my stay at my parent's last week (they are on vacation and I can use their place) and I told him about getting stoned every day, which he found funny for some reason.

I told him about calling my parent's. They've bought a car in the US. I tried to talk them into getting something that's at least somewhat environment friendly and they didn't even get a hybrid, just plain old gas. This developed into a discussion on self-driving cars. T tried to steer it towards the fact that computers don't have emotions, on which I fully agree with him, but he was so bad at explaining it that I had to ask stupid questions for a while.

Then we got more into what I'd been doing while I was at my parent's place. I had seen some documents on a medical condition my mom has. I hadn't known about it beforehand (though she's had it ever since I was born). It's related to my birth and we talked about it for a while.

At some point I mentioned that I missed him a whole lot and he commented on how it's been a long time since we've last seen. I told him I'd been reading the write-ups of our sessions. It's comforting to read what we used to discuss again, it helps me remember how he talks to me. T thought this sounds like a good thing, that he thinks I need physical things that remind me of people rather than just my mind. He asked whether there was anything that bothered me about my notes. I said no, the only thing was one time a few months ago where he'd first ask for a suggestion on how to handle a social interaction, I gave one, he said no, we talked for 5 minutes, and then he told me to do what I had already suggested, but as if it were his own idea. He laughed and actually remembered it and agreed with me.

T started to talk about how some people can just imagine a certain person and it's enough, they don't feel alone anymore. I said how I had actually been trying to do that and all I kept thinking about was one instance where he'd said that he'd not just abandon me. He mentioned that he says that a lot. I agreed with him but said that time it was different.

At some point while he was talking I started looking at him. He commented on that and asked whether it needed a lot of effort. When I said no he answered that's good and smiled.

He suggested that although having physical reminders can be a good thing, it can also hurt you. People might lie and if you constantly remind yourself of lies, it will hurt a lot when you find out. I pointed out that your fantasy can lie to you just as much and he agreed. I told him that I was trying to just think of him in general as well, though it helped less than reading my notes. He replied that he'd been thinking about me as well from time to time and gave some examples. After that we started to wrap up.

Reflecting on this session as well as all the things I've read over the last few days about our earlier ones,
I find that while I didn't really feel any kind of emotional connection for the first 6 or 7 months to my T and he was very blank state during our first year, he now shares a lot more his own emotions (in connection to me or what we talk about) and seems to try to change his behavior based on the needs I have. I really appreciate that he is willing and able to do that.