Hello kMcmanes: Thank you for sharing your Sanity Test score. I believe this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. I'm sorry I don't think I can really comment on what you experienced growing up. My own childhood, as well as much of my adulthood, both was & is a great mystery to me.

There are forums, here on PC, dedicated to depression as well as to bipolar disorder. Here are links to these forums:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/depression/

https://forums.psychcentral.com/bipolar/

And then here are links to 3 articles, from Psych Central's archives, by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D. 2 on the subject of depression & 1 on bipolar disorder. These articles also provide links to additional articles on their subjects:

Depression: Symptoms, Types & Treatments

Living with Depression: A Guide for Coping with Depressive Feelings

Bipolar Disorder: Symptoms, Types & Treatments

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.