I'm Free!
I feel like I'm a car that's got the parking break stuck on and yet I'm pushing down the accelerator over and over. I've felt mildly nauseated for the last week- like I need to vomit. Today is an absolutely gorgeous day! Bright sunshine, blue sky with puffy white clouds, fifty degrees, slight breeze, trees are flowering and in bud, grass is green, flowers are up and bloomed... I am FREE! Free of all the worry, angst, fear, aweful side effects from drugs. There's a spring in my step, a dance is my shuffle, a whistle on my lips... I am care free. Foot loose and fancy free! My thoughts are abundant and they come to me with exacting ease. I am a genius- God has given me this gift. My life is one again! How it was and how it SHOULD be! All the experiences of my life joined as one- like a choir singing gregorian chant - in unison, separate entities joining as one being, the whole greater than the sum of its parts.

P.S. A couple days this week, I've been so exhausted that I've laid down in the late afternoon and just CRASHED! I slept like a kid after a long day of travel or play- over two hours SOLID after only just having laid my head on the pillow.

I also am on a roll - each time I have sex its better than all the other times combined! Its really indescribable! And its not just me- its him too. And I should say its better than all the other times not just with him but for the entirety of my adult life!