I'm currently going through something similar. I've relapsed recently after a long time, I'm 29 now. For me it was a reaction to having a fight with my mom. I also relate to your embarrassment. For me it's been quite shameful to feel like I'm not able to handle things in the 'adult' way that I feel like I should. I've only been on this forum for a few days myself but have already seen more stories like ours. You're not alone. As to how your boyfriend reacted. I don't know him but maybe he just didn't know how to react and didn't want to say the wrong thing. It's a difficult thing to understand if you haven't experienced it yourself. I hope you get through this tough time soon. I'm here if you want to chat.