You've tried to convince me that you won't care less if I stop hurting myself, but we both know that's not true
Don't believe me?
Let me know how you feel on Tuesday.

I'd even brought this up with you before and I thought you seemed to get it.
But apparently you forgot.
I tried to tell you Friday that I needed you to acknowledge my progress and how hard it was and that I needed some kind of approval
And you weren't listening
You didn't hear me

Hurting myself gets you to hear me
It always does
Because you care more

This is why I ****ing told you not to tell me if it upset or bothered you when I hurt myself
Because now I know that it does
And, as I've told you before, I'm a bad person.
I'll hurt myself to hurt you so that I can feel cared about

Know this: I wouldn't be hurting myself if I believed that you didn't care either way
I wouldn't be hurting myself if you'd agreed that it was for the best that I not tell you when I do
I'm hurting myself because of you. Because you didn't listen when I told you why I can't let myself have these things. You didn't believe me that you shouldn't care.