I want to just share with you my experience :1. You mentioned past infidelity
on your part. Even with marriage counseling I am of the opinion that
they never forgive , or forget.
2. I was married over 30 yrs. when I got hit with the same story. She said our lives were moving in " different directions". Also the famous line of " I love you but I'm not "IN" love with you. "
3. Very secretive on her phone and computer.
4. Got involved in something that got her out of the house a lot.
5. Eventually she just stopped communicating with me verbally and physically.
6. She just wanted me to GO somewhere for awhile. So she can have some space. Really? She just wanted to stay married for financial reasons.
7. Although I couldn't prove it I'm pretty sure she was having an affair.
8. I was a blindsided fool. Missed all the red flags.
9. In the end I filed for divorce since we were living together in a 99% no contact situation which was very toxic.
And in the end I realized that sometimes things that get broken can't be fixed. I also realized how naive I'd been for so long.
Reality is a harsh and unforgiving teacher.
I really hope you can salvage your marriage.
One last thing , be careful for what you wish for !