I know this feeling. Even with a toxic person it is hard to let go.

I had a very hard time shaking my most toxic ex's from my thoughts, long after we had broken up. I figured out why too. There was something I longed for from them. A sincere apology. Ownership of how poorly they treated me. I wanted to hear, "Oh I am SO sorry I hurt you in so many ways. I didn't mean to, I really cared for you deeply and loved you deeply. I am so very sorry. I was a bad boyfriend to you."

That is what I really wanted to hear and never got.

The truth is with toxic people, they don't take ownership, they don't apologize to you, and they move on seemingly unscathed without you. Wanting an apology from a toxic person is like trying to get blood from a rock!

The other truth is, they don't really know how to love someone.

I've been following your threads, and this man was most toxic for you. The best advice I can give is rather than trying to loosen them from your thoughts, think more so about the red flags and signs you dismissed or ignored while you were with them, trying to make things work. Learn from this and find the lesson from it.

You know this man was bad for you and did not treat you the way you deserved. So why did you let that happen? What is it deep within yourself that believes you don't deserve better? How can you change your own radar detector so that you can detect a toxic person early on and exit from the situation without getting hurt? How can you work on your co-dependency so that you can have a far healthier relationship?

This will be most helpful to you, in the end. Try to shift your focus off of HIM and back onto YOU, your healing process and your recovery process. ((((((((hugs)))))))))