IowaFarmGal
I don't live on the beach, but by a tributary (bayou) to the greater gulf - so, no beach, no waves right by where I live. I do live within a mile of the beach. It is lovely, but there are too many tourists, too many casinos (which I don't frequent), too much traffic. This used to be a sleepy little fishing town - quiet, friendly. It isn't any more. Maybe I have lived too long in one place. All of my neighbors are from other parts of the country, and I am the lone person who was born here, went to college here, married here, worked here, had a family here and still live HERE.
I was a senior center director in my working career. It is just not my thing. I mean I enjoyed it when I wasn't a senior. LOL But, bingo and group shopping trips or exercise groups are not high on my priority list.
I think my current depression and anxiety stem from my knee injury (six weeks ago tomorrow) which left me in great pain and on crutches. It would have been ok, but I live by myself and could not just sit and have someone (the nonexistent someone) cook for me or help me with things; so, that has extended my recovery time.
My philosophy throughout my life has been, "Life is a biotch, and then you die." I've enjoyed it, but this getting old without the energy and with injuries and pain is not what I was expecting. LOL Struggle is a part of life. Everyone deals with their own as best they can. I know that I have, but it has been a long road. I was hoping for something easier now that my kids are grown, married and successful, but life just keeps getting harder and harder. I used to laugh a lot. My kids would say that they could recognize me in a crowded store by my laughter. I don't laugh anymore. With all 4 of my siblings and my best friend dying within the last 10 years, life has just gotten......what is the purpose anymore?
Ah well, thank you for letting me write my early morning thoughts. If this doesn't get any response, it is ok. I just feel better writing them down. So, maybe that is the purpose of this forum for me....to just write to the unknown world that I am still in it....even if no one acknowledges me....in the real world or the virtual world.