This board is usually pretty reasonable in terms of extreme opinions and the insulting and demeaning that typically goes with them, but the internet is a terrible place to seek support for any kind of real issue in your life. Most famous writers/celebrities/known people do not read anything about themselves on the web, because they have wisely figured out that the "haters" and the negativity doesn't feel good or helpful.

So maybe the question is why do this to yourself? Seems like self harm to post this on that kind of site. But for the record, I think you deserve empathy and above all self compassion, not scorn and dismissal and harsh judgements.