I agree! I had a similar experience with my therapist. Not sure if you saw one of my posts, but yes - both of us are married to different people, so that’s one reason I never mentioned it...

Also, I didn’t want to risk the relationship. I kept how I felt to myself.

I figured, well, I can’t fight it, so I’ll just accept that’s how I feel. I have felt similarly attracted to other men outside of my marriage and not said anything for the same reasons. I’m married. Just guys I’ve worked with, mostly. Don’t know too many other fellows outside of work.

One could say I have healthy fantasies, I guess? lol I don’t feel I should act on them, though, that would be crossing the line.

Now several years after the fact, I don’t exactly feel attracted so much as a deep affection and respect for my therapist. I don’t have a lot of relationships like that. I can be honest with him about anything, and I feel safe.

My husband is learning recently to allow me to ask or say certain things WITHOUT yelling at me. lol My husband is fine about most things, but let’s just say he’s a little touchy about me asking for support/teamwork from him. He gets defensive or seems to think that when I ask him to do something, I’m actually accusing him of being a burden or lazy or something. But he’s working on that and has improved a LOT over the last while.

I’m a little hard to “reach” because I put up an invisible barrier so it takes a long time to get past that wall.

I don’t know if it was transference, but I wouldn’t be surprised. As I said, I have issues opening up to people and feeling safe.