I agree. I do think you need to take some time to build your self esteem. There is so much to be said for liking and valuing yourself, knowing your strengths, etc. I also wonder, like Sandman said, if its the quality of men you are dating. I'm willing to guess there are other gay men out there not just wanting to have sex, and wanting what you want. A relationship. Take some time to work on yourself.

I also want to acknowledge what you said about sex and gay men being like shaking hands. I have a gay male friend, and he told me this is true. He is in a relationship now, but he said for gay men, the dating world is different. He has had many sex partners. He also mentioned though, that it was a phase. Like he did it for a while, but he has a partner now. Yeah, look for the guys who are more serious, and work on how you feel about yourself. With time, that can be changed.