Thread: LT's thread
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Old Apr 29, 2019, 12:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
Which led to T saying something like, "The way I try to approach parenting is..." and then talked about accepting one's child completely for who they are, but also letting them know you can help them improve in certain areas if they want. Like in my case, struggling with anxiety, if my parents had fully accepted that (they didn't) and also said they could help me with that so I didn't struggle so much (they didn't, aside from brief period seeing psychiatrist, but I think it was more because they didn't know how to deal with me, not out of compassion).
I wonder how that fits in with his thing about not believing in unconditional positive regard or unconditional love. These are things I think about a lot because I don't understand what they mean.

Paradoxically, when I can accept certain things about myself, they become much easier to change. I think that's an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy concept.

Side note, my parents did the EXACT same thing when they took me to a psychologist as a teenager. I had always thought that was out of character because it didn't square with their general neglect/disregard of me, but you're exactly right that it was not out of compassion or understanding but because they flat-out didn't know what else to do.
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LonesomeTonight
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight