I am so torn right now. I have been seeing a guy for a few months and he is sooooo nice. He's essentially the perfect guy. He's not bad looking, has a great job, a beautiful home, a nice car and he treats me very well. Despite some intrinsic commitment (i.e. title) issues, he SHOULD, be the perfect fit. He even has said the "L" word.

I have dreamed of the moment a guy would say that to me and mean it (which I hope he does - I have major trust issues), so... why am I not INTO him?

I find myself picking him apart for no real solid reason outside of the fact that we are quite different.

1) We both have great jobs, but he's climbing the corporate ladder. I, on the other hand, could command a much higher salary in corporate America but stay with my non profit because of the MISSION they represent. He comments about the fact that I could be making more. I don't care about that.

2) He is a big house and fancy car guy. I could care less about THINGS. He likes the McMansion with the lawn. I'm more of a one-bedroom loft kinda chick and will drive my used car until the wheels fall off. I actually think his lifestyle is a bit excess. Does he REALLY need all of those bedrooms?

3) His Sundays aren't complete without having some form of church in it. My sanctuary is a hiking trail with a camera around my neck. He's known that I'm Agnostic since our first date. Though I respect anyone's religion and will seek to understand it--even participate (I find prayer relaxing), I won't ever commit to any religion. It's not my thing.

4) He DOES NOT TALK. Well, he'll easily engage in small talk with strangers but doesn't have a lot to say outside of "surface" stuff. On the rare occasions that we have what I think is a meaningful conversation, I have to pull it out of him. He's perfectly fine with sitting at a meal ... in silence. At a park... in silence. I find our "conversations" exhausting.

Even more superficial of me:

5) I HATE his beard. I've told him that I don't like it, but always follow up with "It's your face..." I guess I could contend with that, but it AGES him.

6) He likes to shop. I HATE shopping. I try to compromise because he's not the most outdoorsy guy and he will accompany me to outdoor stuff. So when he shops, I find a chair and play on my phone. When I do outdoor stuff , he hangs back, but he seems surprised when we walk into a store and I don't make a beeline to the clothes or shoe section.

7) I don't like the way he dresses. It's like a hodge podge of colors and styles... (seriously, a pastel T shirt, camo pants, a plaid jacket from a suit, and old guy Stacy Adams shoes) He looks like he's trying to dress young but has this Santa beard so it looks ridiculous.

8) ... and the physical is just OK. Sometimes he can't really... rise to the occasion and will try to keep going which is uncomfortable.

BUT... he's SUPER nice to me, and I have a habit of being attracted to jerks. You know, the guy that's into the outdoorsy stuff like me but can't hold down a job... or the guy that dresses nicely and make me scream his name in 10 different languages but wants me to be one of many.

Here's a guy that could support me... that clearly cares about me and treats me like GOLD that I'm picking apart.

I've heard the couples that have been together for a long time say that it's not about the spark or the chemistry... that there's a slow burn.

He could really make nice long term material. What's wrong with me? I can see my future... turn down the nice guy then end up alone because the guys that give me the "spark" are A**HOLES.

I feel really badly about this. I SHOULD be grateful that someone like him even wants to be with me. Sorry this is so long... I don't know what to do.