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From what you shared here.....you sound very wise financially & I think what you know is needed is absolutely RIGHT ON.
Things happen in our lives especially when 2 whole separate families are involved. Part of making a relationship work is UNDERSTANDING this will happen.
IMO the only way for this all to work out would be for you both to step back to the point where the financial planning would get done. That is the only wise way to proceed. Second marriages need this financial planning to be done because each family is entitled to what each parent accumulated BEFORE the 2nd marriage. Whether romantic or not it is the wise way to handle it & make sure everyone is gets what they are entitled to & get everything set financially for both of you to live together securely in your future. People who refuse to understand the financial responsibilities going into a second marriage & protecting all interests involved are just plain foolish. You are very wise & I agree totally with what you posted about here.
Lol....yep I live alone on a farm 10 minutes from town & I go shopping once a month....when I run out of something I do without till my next trip to town. Totally different from the city living I did till I was 54 & if I ran out of something I would just hop in the car & drive 2 minutes to the store to get what I needed. I actually like the farm living much better.
There seems to be some too high expectations or maybe lack of tolerance when it comes to your own family demands & maybe even if he wanted to do the financial planning so you could get married....if he really doesn't understand it, it may have kinda intimidated him through lack of actually understanding what is needed.....but if he really is still interested that would definitely be one of my requirements for marriage too.
Actually friends of mine just got 2nd married (after his wife died). They deeded the farm to his son because it always would have been part of his inheritance. It is important otherwise bad feelings can happen & tear apart the newly formed marriage relationship. Pre-nups are important at this stage of our lives.
I can definitely see how complex this is for you....& understand the dilemma
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Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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