Here's another example of settling that I just experienced, going to see a movie with a guy I like. We have casually known each other for about one month and we went to a movie.

Prior to the movie, i warned him that I tend to be one of those movie-goers who tends to laugh loud and react loudly in movies (it's just in my DNA, can't change it).

He assured me that wouldn't bother him...as long as it didn't happen every time we went to a movie together (future talk - HUGE red flag from a guy I haven't even kissed yet).

So, I joked, "well, maybe we should sit in opposite sides of the theater b/c I don't want to 'not enjoy' myself just to please you. My comment pushed his buttons a little, but he said he was fine so I sat next to him. ME sitting next to him is a version of me "settling."

Low and behold, during a really exciting part of the movie, I gasped out loud, and he tried to 'shush me' by putting his right hand on top of my right arm. I knew instantly that this guy was the wrong guy for me.

That gesture from him, was his way of disapproving of me gasping out loud, and represents him trying to control my behavior. If I went out with him again I'd definitely be compromising myself.

So, I told him today via email that what he did (putting his hand on my arm to 'shush me' really pissed me off, and was the main reason I didn't want to see/hear from him again. He responded, 'ok, psycho." Um, can anyone say I dodged a bullet there based on his response? I think so.