No, I never held back, but it's supposed to be explored in the type of therapy I do. Falling in love with your T is expected and thought of as transference. But there's no goal to 'deal with' or 'stop' the feelings--exploring it is part of the process.


But I also do not associate morals with feeling sexual or love feelings and have even enjoyed having such feelings for my T. He is married too, but my feelings cannot discern a single person from a married. Feelings are one thing; actions another. I don't associate my love or sexual feelings for T in a negative way.


Guilt in itself can be painful, even self-destructive for some. Isn't it hard to not work through the guilt with your T? I'm glad to hear you are not beating yourself up anymore about it.