*********Trigger Warning******( talk of religion, homicide, death) So I have been having some thoughts that Thorne ( a part of me that I named many years ago but first noticed when I was in my 20s) may be a demon. She seems to pop up at horrible times when people are talking about deadly fires, homicide, etc. She smiles and gets excited by these things and then I feel horrible for it. I am technically between therapists and have no priest to consult and they usually shy away from this stuff anyway. The reasons I think Thorne may be a demon is because she is evil, she makes me feel horrible about myself. I tried to cast her out but she wont go. This is the only advice my therapist had and it wadnt helpful in easing my anxiety because I definitely believe in demons. Here is our conversation.
Me:
Sorry to bother you again but I am having some major anxiety that Thorne may be a demon. I know that sounds teally strange but thats what I am dealing with right know and I am extremely anxious. I am have some thoughts about harming someone linked in with this all
Her: Notice where you are feeling this in your body - go to that place and breathe in thru that space. Notice: does it have a color, shape, size? What happens when I give calming, soothing strategies, peaceful thoughts to Thorne? Can she let go of harmful feelings?
Me: I just have alot of anxiety in my body. I have tried my grounding techniques. I took a nap, and a shower. I read this stuff a couple of weeks ago about demons and alters and I didnt dwell on it any. Then today something triggered me to remember that stuff and I started thinking about whst if Thorne is really a demon and then I started having some harm thoughts related to my dad and Thorne maybe being a demon and I am stuck here until tommorow. Last night I had another flashback and was able to breath with that and finally fell asleep. Nothing seems to be helping this.
Her: I do not happen to believe in demons. Until you become more confident in yourself and who you are I would suggest that you do not read such books or other similarly disturbing material.
I dont even know what she means by until I am more confident in yourself and who you are. I am scared.
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