Thank you for responding. I am not sure I feel better. Since its on my terms yes but I am not sure I am any better. I cried a few times but this is no way near as bad as last time. I am more wondering what he replied to my kik (which I deleted) and to my phone, if he even did send texts to my phone. part of me wants him back. But even if I did contact him I'm not sure he would even want me back. I go back and forth with this.