Dear T,
I hate myself right now. Though honestly, I'm not too happy with you, either. Why did you have to bring up that maybe I was a difficult child to raise? Now I'm putting the blame on myself. Even though I was in many ways pretty easy--very self-entertaining, for example. Did well in school. Followed the rules. I hate paternal transference because it gives everything you say such greater meaning. And I guess I'm failing at the "waiting till morning to email" thing. Hope you don't think I'm a failure. I should have just waited. FFS, I already asked for an earlier session, then declined when someone else wanted it. I'm so ****ing needy. Don't you just want to pawn me off? Aren't you tired of me by now? Maybe you'd even be OK if I saw your colleague, because then you wouldn't have to deal with me. I love you though. Damn it.

LT