Crypts, I am sorry you are in so much pain today. I care about you.

You are confused and perhaps feeling something I call cognitive disonnance (I probably spelled wrong). I think we get this when people we love disapprove of our take on things of get upset at us for being just us, if that makes sense. For me, when I used to want to die--I think it was a distraction from the cognitive disonnance and I also felt that way because some things in life just don't turn out as we had hoped or expected and there is no way out. Also people in our life are telling us things that our gut says it is not true yet we love them and want to be what they want us to be but we can't please or be love by all the people all the time. We are lucky if anyone love us. But I do find you loveable.

I know your life has been tough in many ways for a while (perhaps always? you never talk about you childhood or I have just not read those posts.) I wish I could make it better for you. Do you have a T you could make an appointment with or are you unable to access that kind of help?

I would glad to listen a bit tonight as I am going to bed a bit later than usual. Hang in there. You are a dear, sweet person. And I bet if you were hanging out with me--we would get along. It is my guess that you are hanging out with a cranky husband and there is only so much we can do when they get this way! It is not your fault. The cranky one is the one with the problem. Am I guessing part of what is eating at you?