Quote:
Originally Posted by lost4357669
Horrible. I saw a therapist and told her about being almost 35 and broke and no career and a job that only pays 47k. She tried to say I was still young, but I could already see it in her eyes. She knows the truth.
I don't know why I couldn't have just done the 9-5 thing like everyone else, even if it was boring or whatever, I could've salvaged something of a life. It's a nice day today and I see everyone out enjoying it, relaxing. That will never be me again. It's all I really want. But all I can think about is how much of a failure I am and that I have no reason to enjoy anything. What a shitbag disaster of a life.
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I wonder if you could find that 47K job outside of Chicago? There are some areas of the country where you could make it on that much. In order to make you feel better, I opened my tax return that I filed earlier this year. I only made 6K plus I had disability payments until Febrary or March 2018 (I honestly can't remember now because my brain is fried from working all day). I am totally dependent upon my husband financially. Do you support others? 47K would be tough if you support others or if you have a mortgage or rent in an expensive city like Chicago. You are not a failure. Lots of people are poor, poor, poor in the world. My son lives in a tent. There are always those whom are better and those whom are worse of than us and life doesn't always go as expected but hang around long enough and don't give up (hope that is not triggering as you ARE trying since you went to therapy--sometimes we feel bad after therapy because we discuss our pain there but understanding our pain might, hopefully, someday, set us free?) We are prisoners of our own mind and attitudes sometimes but they are hard habits to break. Hey, I am GLAD you are expressing your pain!!! Hugs.
Your username is lost so you ARE trying to find yourself. Trying is a step in the right direction.
