I am just posting this because, well I don't know why, other than I don't have anywhere else to go, I am just totally despondent, sad, angry, so very angry!! After responding with my "ex's" and mine back history earlier today and realizing how busy I had been last fall and thru January, and what all was going on in my life at the time. I created a time line going back to the first of August, (only including weekends). I was shocked to find out how much of the time was spent doing what he wanted and how little was spent focusing on me. (I did not mention at the time, that my nephew who was active military, had been killed barely a year earlier and my family and I were also still reeling from that tragedy). All of the things I needed to get done to take care of me and my home was pretty much accomplished during the week. I also noticed I took numerous 1/2 day vacations from work to accomplish and meet my own needs and chores, again so I did not neglect him, and he said when we broke up it was because I was too busy for him. In early Aug and Sept, I was even trying to drive to his house one night a week. Due to his work schedule, he never reciprocated and came to my house during the week. I also noticed on the weekends I went to my aunts, or took my mother, those were weekends he was not available anyway so that I didn't neglect him then too! I did ask him to go with me, albeit would be boring sitting in a hospital for about 14 hrs a day, but he said no. And so what if I wanted to "over decorate" my house for the holidays and went "all out" for my son and his wife when they came home? I even put a little candy dish on the night stand in their room with chocolate Christmas candy in it for them. I bought Christmas pillow cases for all of the bedrooms and put a Christmas tree in each room. I only get to see that son once or twice a year when I fly out to visit them. My grandchildren told their parents, they now want a Christmas tree in their bedrooms at home! Like most Mom's, I LOVE having my children under my roof and I know that they may never all be here at the same time again. What did I do that was so wrong? He told me that my biggest fault was the time it took me to decorate for the holidays. When it was done, it was beautiful (he said) but it took me so long. Sooooo what, I was doing it on my own time at 3:00a when he was not at my house. His mother and one of my grandsons share the same birthday, and this year they were both being celebrated the same day AND at the same time! His mother's open house was from 1-4, and was being followed up by the family all going to dinner together. My grandsons skating party (he was turning 7) was also in the same time slot, 1-4 and also being followed with everyone going to dinner. When I told my "ex" about the conflict, he didn't say a word, or offer any kind of compromise or solution. I said I would compromise and go to his mom's open house, and then leave and meet my family for dinner. Since I was compromising for him, I kind of thought he should offer to go to my grandsons dinner with me. I would have told him he didn't have to go with me since this was a special birthday for his mom, but the gesture would have been nice! Another grandson has the same birthday as his adult daughter. I have skipped my grandsons birthday, to go to his daughters for the weekend for her birthday, but he has never mentioned taking turns every other year or staying here for my grandsons birthday. Am I expected to miss all of my grandchildren's birthday's because they only live an hour away rather than 3 states away? He does treat me very nice, and always goes along with whatever I want, as long as there is nothing he wants to do. To me a compromise is only a compromise when there are two different options to be decided between, it is not a compromise if there is no 2nd option! Just venting, I guess, but right now at this moment, I hope he is alone a LONG LONG VERY LONG time. (I am sure I will change my mind in about 5 minutes! Roxy