Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
Thank you very much for your post. 
Your original question was to ask what was causing you to have co-dependent traits.
To me, in the post above you give a persuasive response.
I think you said that your Schizotypal Personality Disorder provides the impetus for your co-dependent behaviors. It sounds to me as though "the project" feels so overwhelmingly important (in providing you with direction and purpose) that you allow yourself to connect with people who do not respect boundaries. You then behave in a co-dependent manner with these people--to support "the project"--until eventually they overstep the boundaries that you do have and enmeshment breaks down.
How well does the above resonate with you? |
It's a bit of a chicken and egg thing really. I think that my co-dependent traits are responsible for my STPD, since it is the abuse I've received that has caused me to retreat into myself and avoid people. But at the same time, it is the loneliness and isolation of that which causes me to act co-dependently.
I carry a high degree of toxic shame due to my divergence. Most people I meet pick up on my insecurity and shun me for it, causing me to feel further alienated. When I meet people who don't treat me that way, I have a feeling of "arriving" at something normal. The value of that can't be understated, since it validates me and alleviates the shame I feel about myself. Due to the rarity of it, it becomes something precious and worth maintaining at great lengths. Sadly, most of the time, these people are predatory, dysfunctional, or have ulterior motives.