Sept how about sending it, and telling them these are things you wish to discuss in person with them???<font color="green">

I'm curious, can your younger son communicate ok with your older son, or does he have the same problems?

On #18... would it be softer to say that You don't feel/think that you overreacted..... (which leaves open the idea that maybe you did, but you don't think so?)

I've tried all of this, and more, in attempting to open the lines of communication with both my sons, and their wives. Nothing has worked. It appears to be their problem... we are all the losers. (them, my grandchildren, and me, and maybe society too, since we could be such a great team...)

I wish you better results.