Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Are you and your mom both on a lease of the apartment or does she own it? If you are both on the lease, I’d just stay in the apartment when mom goes to assisted living. That would eliminate necessity of moving? Is it possible?
On the other hand if your sister has POA and is the one making decisions, I’d probably not stay living with mom and be her caregiver. I am not saying you have to abandon your mom, but living arrangements seem to be not working. Whoever takes elderly parent in or otherwise takes care of them, should have POA. Or could both people share POA?
Did you move in to take care of mom? And now you have no power to decide what’s best for her? I am confused. Sounds frustrating.
Our dad is still ok, mom just passed  if one day dad won’t be ok anymore we’d take him in but we’d either share POA or whoever takes him in, will have POA. If sister has POA, she’d better take care of mom. |
My sister had POA before I moved in. I was not given a choice -- she just decided she was going to be the one responsible for our mother's finances and execute her will etc.,. as I was left out of the loop. I thought I was clear about that.
The reason I moved in with my mother is not the issue here. The issue is the estrangement with my sister, and how to overcome that, while at the same time, work with my sister to get our mother approved for assisted living.
I cannot take the POA away from my sister b/c I don't have the finances to sue her in court. Right now, I just want to determine how to get our mother approved for the medical assistance she will need, to qualify for the elderly waiver in my state, that reduces the rent at assisted living facilities to 1/3 the rent cost.
I was hoping people could respond with advice who were in a similar situation with a sibling they didn't get along with, to give me advice.