My shame is toxic and internalized. I decided at an early age to believe the shame lies of my parents, but then to ignore the remainder of their input into my life. Whats left is an inclination to harsh judgement - what I do wrong makes me a bad person - and there is no one whose approval can make anything feel okay again. I'm in my 40s and like the Phoenix I will rise form the ashes... been saying that for a decade now. Perhaps tomorrow will be the day. God Bless...