Especially because the 11th will be one year since... that really really really ****** day
And I know you're allowed to take a week off. And I know it's not abandoning me. And I know you have no idea what day that was last year.
I don't even want to admit that I checked my old calendar.
Your name on all the Fridays after that was angrily scribbled out in black marker.
I had to see that reminder on my calendar for the next two months.

And maybe I just also want to establish that I'm not okay going a week without you.
But talking to you about this preemptively on Friday would seem like a guilt trip. You're going to try to convince me to not do it. It's not going to work. And then I'll feel guilty for having burdened you with that knowledge. And pathetic for being so needy.
Maybe I should only tell you after if at all.