My T is still on vacation. He already knew I was on edge about it. He really knows these things because I tell him via email, but I hardly express it in person. He told me I was able to email him, that he will read everything. So I've been emailing, but only a few times. I told him not to reply to me unless I begged for connection. I can't handle his replies sometimes, I read them negatively. I'm going to be over the moon when he gets back, but I'm probably going to act like it's no big deal.