This may come down to semantics and how one defines forgiveness, but I don't think forgiveness is the only path forward (it's certainly not a "fact"), nor do I think the T should be establishing that as a goal for you--you should be establishing your own goals or at the very least, it should be a collaborative process. As you mentioned, LT, I think "acceptance" is possibly a helpful way of looking at it, accepting what is, what you'll never get, that things can't be different, yours and others' shortcomings/humanness, etc.

The whole concept of forgiveness makes me squeamish. My T (who is a feminist, multicultural therapist) says that forgiveness often benefits the perpetrators, the aggressors, those in positions of power and privilege, and not the victims. He is adamant that forgiveness is not a necessary part of the journey, and actually gets quite riled at those who push it as if it were--he finds that disempowering, and I agree. I'm not saying that is true for everyone, but I am asking people to hold open the possibility that forgiveness is not necessarily the best choice for everyone on their journey or the only path to healing.

I know there are those who disagree that forgiveness benefits the perpetrators, who say they forgive for themselves, and if that's why they're doing it and how they experience it, then that's great. I would never claim otherwise. But this pressure to forgive, this black-and-white thinking that it's the only way to healing (ironic, since your T accuses you of that), it's simply not everyone's experience or reality. I have no desire, need, or intention to forgive, and if someone (especially someone who looked a lot like my perpetrator in terms of gender, age, etc.) was pushing me to, I would resist mightily. I'm not bitter, I'm not "stuck," I'm not trying to change the past, and if asked to, I can even feel some empathy for the perpetrator (although I do not like to spend much time or energy empathizing with those who hurt me, so I don't, but I can). I'm well aware that whatever remains, whatever the impact of my trauma, it's mine, all mine, to sort through and heal from as best as possible. I just don't think forgiveness is a necessary part of my journey, and I don't think anyone can say for me (or anyone else) that it needs to be.