wow, BirdDancer! you touched upon so many points that resonate with me. especially about hitting our own personal "bottoms" I experienced that many times and usually during moments when my meds weren't right or I had quit them cold turkey. it was so hard to admit I was helpless against BP and that I needed help from my meds. but what you said, BirdDancer, about the benefits outweighing the negatives is spot on! so true. it should be the mantra for so many people who experience doubts with their meds. thank you for that. I rebelled as well and sometimes I do presently (I mean who doesn't every now and then. it's in our DNA lol), but I just "flash backwards" and I am reminded about where I was without my meds and I thank my lucky stars, and my support team for where I am now. I know it isn't so tidy for many others but I hope we all can spread our experiences and help someone in doubt or crisis.

thanks for sharing, BirdDancer! (also, very sorry to hear about your nephew).