Yesterday I talked to my son about the "anniversary", I said I was sorry about the manner in which I did it (I was hysterical) wishing I had just calmly kicked him out; however, what he did that day was wrong and the decision was right. Lately, because my boundaries are clearer with my son, he looks at me differently (his expressions have actuallly changed for the better) and doesn't try to "pull the wool over my eyes" as much. I want to help him always and he knows it.

When I told my H these observations yesterday, he immediately thought I was blaming us for being bad parents. That was not the point I was trying to make. I am trying to do what I should have done long ago but didn't recognize needed to be done. During that conversation yesterday I did not talk about long past events (I was only focussing on the conversation with our son) but that my husband kicked our son out suddenly when he was 18 (he is now 24) and that my son was on his own (with our daughter) for one and a half years with me not confronting my husband over it (tried but he did not listen so I was seeing the kids behind his back) made it harder for me to see the big picture. I was so depressed over what had happened when I should have been helping them more. Sadly, though we were good to our children when they were young we ruined their transition into adulthood. I acknowledge this to our children but my husband does not. My children feel wronged and it is not without merit. My family might always be broken if he doesn't acknowledge their feelings. Our children's feelings are just as valid as my husbands. This is my POV.