Today didnt start well at all. i had a lot of problems at work. thankfully there was P next to me so it made it better but really today was hard. really hard!

when i got home for lunch i found a message in the mailbox saying they had to deliver me a letter and to go get it asap. along with being worried about what it is about (something to pay for???), im worried about when i'll be able to go and get it. today i cant because i work. tomorrow i see T so i cant either. am i going to have to wait until monday? so that on monday i cant go to the grocery store? this has me all entangled in myself and my plans. i hate it when my plans are ruined or too full to have time to breathe. and im still fighting with more burocratic stuff that i hate

hoping the rest of the day at work will be easier, i see my friend tonight. at least that should be good. but first i should pass by a pharmacy for "that" problem that hasnt gone away. its been there for more than a week and i hope a cream will solve it without having to go to the gyn. but i'll have to explain the problem to the pharmacist and its very embarassing and i wish i didnt have to.

but whats really worrying me is tomorrow night at the Home anniversary. maybe i'll drink a little to make it easier. i cant find any other solution. and i have not decided yet whether to tell my mom im going there or not. i want her to know im still suffering because of it, but at the same time i dont feel like hearing her saying how it should be time to stop it and forget. i dont know… i cant wait for tomorrow night to be over with. then it should be easier. i hope.