Hi Dazed and Confused. I am so sorry that you're feeling this way. It sounds very unpleasant for you. Maybe you're even feeling a bit depressed at the moment?

When you said "nice guys do finish last, with women always going for the more popular and handsome jocks" you are referring to a reductive stereotype from movies....real people are much more complex than that. Women are not all the same. Nor are we all attracted to the same type of person. We vary as much as men do. I for one, appreciate nice people. I believe most people, men and women, would rather be around pleasant beings.

"The guy who invented the phrase "Be Yourself" is a liar and a hypocrite." So, what do you think you should do instead? It's not possible to be anyone else. Our own selves are all we have so we work on being the best versions of ourselves...slowly over time. I'm still working on myself and will until my last day on earth!

You said someone has taken advantage of your generosity. People cannot take advantage of us if we do not let them. This sounds like a boundary issue. We can be pleasant toward everyone while clearly setting boundaries. We can be pleasant without giving other people money (or whatever the resources are that you feel are being misused.)

I think what may be happening here is that you are possibly projecting feelings about yourself onto the world around you. You sound insecure at the moment and perhaps that is distorting your perceptions. I say that from a place of care and regard, not judgment. When you are feeling a bit fuller and more energized, try an exercise where you write down all the true thoughts and feelings that you have about yourself....just privately, not to share with others. Not what you think others perceive in you, but how you feel about yourself. It may surprise you.

You mentioned that people with a "mean streak" don't get stepped on. Personally, I have never met a "mean" person who wasn't thoroughly miserable. It takes a lot more energy to be unpleasant toward others and those folks are at higher risk for health problems, dysfunctional relationships, and shorter life expectancy.

Perhaps your former crush was feeling uncomfortable and worried that you were reaching out in order to start a relationship with her....so she emphasized her current relationship to make it clear that she's not available. Who knows? There are lots of reasons why people behave as they do. That applies to men and women. Personally, I never contact people I used to date or had a former interest in. I find it keeps things simple and peaceful for me.

When you are feeling more relaxed and have more time, I think it could be worth unpacking why you are developing a black-and-white view of people....kind or mean....good or bad. I think it could be a defense mechanism but obviously I don't know you. You said you are about to be done with education forever....perhaps you are now pressuring yourself to perfect other aspects of your life such as your relationships? Just a thought.

I wish you well with the completion of your studies. Peace, hope, and a bright future to you! You deserve it.