You know, DanceEngine, not too long ago (a couple years now?) I was in somewhat of a similar position as you, so I can kind of relate to what you just explained about yourself and your life above.

I was living with my parents in my 40's, I was in a horrific job I hated, I had little money, just a few friends but no real social circle to speak of, & I was very, very lonely.

Those factors combined led me to become involved in very abusive and toxic relationships. I took crumbs and accepted crumbs because I felt so desperate for basically anything that would make me feel even remotely better than I was feeling.

I take it that this may be similar to how you feel right now.

What I did do was I got out of those relationships eventually. But I allowed myself to stay for a long time, and longer than I should have, to my own detriment.

I did finally see the light and their true colors, just as you are now seeing this guy's true colors.

The point I'm making is I can understand your position in life and how you may feel right now.

I do hope things can improve for you, but you have to take the necessary steps yourself for improving your lot in life. We cannot remain a victim of our circumstances. We must take action & be proactive to get out of a bad situation we find ourselves in.

This is what I've been encouraging you to do, as many of us have, and I do hope you take some steps to improve your life and your own self esteem.