Quote:
Originally Posted by ChaoticEnigma
So abusers and perpetrators are not allowed to seek help? They should be ostrasized here the same as in society. Even if they want to change, they arent welcome here because of who they are? Good to know.
I have bpd/aspd. Two of the most stigmatized disorders in the mental health community. You should hear the things people say about me based on my diagnoses alone.
Once again I am feeling unwelcome. I am a victim of childhood abuse and trauma. I have a severely fractured personality because of it. I constantly read online that I am a ****** person, even though I have tried meds and therapy and do everything in my power to cope with the hand I was dealt. A hand that I never asked for.
What I have heard here is that this is a "victims only" site and once you display negative behaviors, it doesnt matter that you are a victim too.
I am beyond disappointed in this site, community and response. No one wants a pedophile in their backyard (for example), no one wants to help them, no one wants to hear their story. Nobody is trying to help the "abusers" because apparently abusers cant be victims.
So on behalf of every person here who has ever been the abuser, thank you for denying us any support or an opportunity to change/learn/grow. Thank you for labelling us and reminding us that no matter how badly we may be hurting, we dont matter and we dont belong.
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I understand you ChaoticEnigma. I support any professional efforts to help people who have abused or struggle with attraction to children. Shunning folks or encouraging them to be silent only adds to the problem. That said, I agree with community guidelines that convicted rapists or pedophiles cannot post on PC because I don't think PC is set up to really support them and it would be much too triggering for survivors of those crimes. I read your post after I had already responded to Unaluna's. Feel free to PM me if you'd like to discuss more. If you take a look at quite a few of my recent posts, you'll see that I value treating all humans as humans regardless of what they have done....I don't believe in the monster myth. And I also think that PC cannot necessarily offer the right sort of support for rape survivors and rape perpetrators in the same place. Does that make sense?
You sound really hurt right now. I am sorry for it and particularly if my posts were offensive to you. Unintended. I think my brother is living with either undiagnosed BPD or NPD. He has hurt me a great deal but the person he hurts most is himself. I still offer my love and support if/when he wishes to reach out. And I would defend him from anyone who started suggesting he was less than human or undeserving of respect. He said he's worried that when he dies, nobody will say anything good about him at his funeral because they will only remember the bad things he has done. I remember all of it, good and not so good, and if he dies before me I will have plenty of good things to say about him at his funeral. Including three important times when he helped me. Not one of us is all good or all awful. Humans are a mucky combination of positive and negative traits. I agree with a comment from Sam Harris (a neuroscientist): "If you had the brain of a serial killer, you'd be killing people too." That is a very troubling idea for many but I think it's true.
Here's a genuine and safe
for you Chaotic Enigma.