Ive had a really bad couple of days. I talked to people and each time they give me a solution I come up with excuses. All my life, I have been hurt, neglected and abused. I never really knew it until my therapist helped me to see it, and that took 9 years. I just accepted it all my life. that was when I was a child.....then I got married. I forgot for a long time. Now my son is 20, and he is very mean to me. On more than one occassion he has physically hit me and even left bruises on me. He puts me down all the time and I take it into myself. I use his words to reaffirm that I am worthless and deserve this treatment. I feel helpless. It got so bad the other day, and I begged for family support. I sat in front of the tv for hours, not even seeing it. I finally realized...I cant live this way anymore. I tried to kill myself in the past. I know the next time I will succeed. I dont want to die yet. so I decided that Im going to call the police if he hurts me or my other two kids again. If my husband wont help me, Im leaving. Im scared. Im afraid I wont be strong enough. Ive always been so weak about helping myself. I hope I can do this. It has to end now. I have to start living. I dont know what is good anymore. I hope you will add me to your prayer list if that is your thing. I need it bad....Marie