OK, so I finally gathered the courage to bring this up to my wife. (I am seeing a therapist and based on a bunch of other things we discussed, he said the number one skill I need to work on is assertiveness) I tried to be as polite and considerate as possible while expressing how this is affecting me. I also listened to her concerns and gathered that she feels cornered and threatened when I ask her for an update every time. She also mentioned that there was no way her parents would be able to pay it and the understanding was that she would pay for it from her paycheck. She is no longer working because we just had a baby plus is going back to school this Fall. (Getting a local education is the only way she can get a meaningful job given that we are immigrants and there are work authorization issues). Given that her parents are otherwise considerate and caring, I am willing to buy into all of this. But.... we need to take care of the loan before it balloons. So while I agreed to not be pushy I did ask her to voluntarily keep updating me on her efforts to set up a payment plan and to make diligent efforts in the first place. She agreed to this. Let's see how it goes.