For me what had to be reckoned with was that the other person in this "relationship" was not invested in it. She was there to collect income and to get some needs gratified and to further her career. It was a fabricated relationship with no legs. Most of the drama was in my head.

These things can evaporate in an instant, because one person sees the relationship as disposable. And meanwhile, in some cases, the other person has everything riding on it. That kind of asymmetry is usually poisonous. But therapists will tell you it's safe and healing and all the rest of it. And yet everywhere online where therapy is discussed you see the same stories of desperate clients being taken out like the trash.

Not everyone will be so nihilistic about it, but I find comfort in shredding all the BS and dealing with reality.