Yes, he is. After all my plans to have a "respite," Ki didn't even get that. Just before he was to go in the nursing home, paid for by the VA, under their "caregiver respite program, he went and got shingles. So I had to bring him to the ER. For 4 days, they couldn't figure out what the strange rash was. It looked like 2nd degree burns on his back. 3 of those 4 nights I slept at the hospital, in his room. From there he went to the nursing home. They put him in isolation in a private room. That was stressful for him . . . and for me. Then I got a pass to take him to the VA for a lung biopsy. Just before that was to happen, he went into a TIA (mini-stroke,) so the VA admitted him. What was supposed to be my "break" ended up being about him having shingles and then the minor stroke. Sometimes you just can't win for losin'. He lost weight and became confused at times. So I was bringing him in food and making sure he ate. In facilities, they just plunk down a meal tray on a table near you and no one checks if you can even reach it. He can't even cut up his own meat.

He's home. He is so much less confused and better all around. In the VA, he told the doctor that I was his "sister." He got to where he couldn't hardly stand up. Now he's able to follow the news on TV and walk short distances.

But I still have housework to catch up on. It would be done in a couple of days, if I would just put down the smart-phone and do what needs doing. Mornings I am awfully depressed. I keep falling asleep. No self-discipline.

In the morning, I have to force myself. Once I start, it gets easier. I have to stop just sitting in despair.