"When my therapist asked me, "Who was your first love?" I didn't know what exactly was being asked. I didn't know if she was asking about my first sexual experience or if the question was intended to be deeper than that. "

yeah, i got that also from last t and i didn't know what to make of it. and t looked at me like i was an oranguatane (sp) or something. i felt pretty stupid, honestly.
as for your questions, 1.yes i have a hard time defining love. i also have a hard time telling people i "love" them, or even signing "love" to a letter or email. it makes me really uncomfortable. i am assuming it is related to the abuse, for i have no other context with which to assign it.
2. i have chosen abstanance all these years. well, "choose" is not quite accurate since for the most part i turn into a deer in the headlights with any sort of advances. but .... i've not wanted sex at all. all that stopped at age 12 and i never looked back (until therapy). i do have troubles talking about my abusive boyfriend who darn near pushed things a bit too far... and i could never say all the things he did. t's usually give up asking me questions.