I saying to myself "it's just the depression" when I feel my body pains, when I'm feeling withdrawn, when I feel worthless.

In my mind, I recognize these as distortions: thoughts that project the present far into the imagined future.

The thing with distortions is that they seem so real. I know they're not real but they feel so real that they affect how I relate to myself and others.

I don't have a solution other than trying to change how I relate to those distortions by focusing on the moment, by reminding myself that it'll pass, and simply accepting this as part of my life. But it's a slow process.

I've been depressed for 18 months now and wish things could be different. It started when I had to stop Lamictal suddenly due to a bad reaction and things haven't been the same since.

My pdoc is willing to add meds. I might just try them to maybe have a better summer this year.