I woke up out of sorts. Probably from a dream I had. I was back in a math classroom but I was with my old principal, the one who fired me. I had all the same feelings I did last year. I wanted to SH in the dream but I didn’t. There were other things that happened like it was like I was back in school and I couldn’t find my locker and when I did find it I couldn’t figure out the combination so I was freaking out. It was an all around unpleasant dream.m

I also woke up freaked out about starting my master’s classes. I am worried I can’t do them. But that’s not really what I’m worried about. I’m worried there’s no point because I won’t be able to be a teacher anyway. I’m worried that I’m going through all this for nothing. I mean even when I was at my old school for four years every year I went out on extended leave because of depression and/or mania. And the first year I’m stable and teaching I get fired anyway. I just don’t know if I can do it. But I can’t make 21000 a year for the rest of my life. RS and I want to buy a house eventually. How can we save for a house if I’m barely making enough for myself?

I don’t know. I’m just worried. I guess I shouldn’t worry so much about what COULD be in the future.

I did lose two pounds so that brightened my day lol.