I kept reading your post for a while and each time you post something the sentiment is the same just phrased differently. Is what I did unacceptable, does my ex-therapist think i am crazy. I can't help to wonder whether your T realises what a massive effect this termination has on you, if she would ever come to realise that her decision not to see you again has been affecting you for months afterwards. It makes me genuinely sad to see you struggling so much where all you seem to need is some comforting from her, reassurance that this one event doesnt reflet on your worthiness.