I need to know how the observer perceives switches...

There is an internal war; and i just need to figure out what this chaos is so i can try to learn why im not able to control things so much and why it seem that the oneself keeps doing.. what im doing..? And no seeming ability to stop this


Im in pain and feel really bad about not being a person, i dont like this blank self

please give information about personal observer switching ..

im tired off watching all this...